Blessing’s story

*This story includes a reference to domestic violence. 

Over the last four years, YMCA Exeter and Exwick Community Church have partnered together to create new community opportunities in Exwick.

From Messy Church to Friday Friendship, YMCA Exeter’s Chris and Debbie Carter have impacted over 300 families and individuals across Exwick.   

Blessing’s story beautifully captures the power of God’s community at work: 

“I flew to the UK in November 2016,” says Blessing. “It was so cold compared to Nigeria but I was marrying my fiancé and ready to start my new life.”  

For a few years Blessing and her now ex-husband lived in Luton, where she gave birth to her first son. Then in 2020, Blessing discovered her husband had a job offer in Exeter. In January 2021, with a newborn and a toddler, Blessing found herself facing upheaval and moving to a place where she knew no one.     

“It was such a big change,” says Blessing. “I had to leave my job as a support worker and move to a place where we had no community in the middle of covid.”  

But it was actually through her ex-husband that salvation arrived.  

“My husband took the kids to the park one day and saw a gathering of people,” explains Blessing. “He asked them what they were doing and discovered they were a church. He got the number of Chris Carter and brought it home to me.”   

Without wasting any time, Blessing made contact with Chris and started visiting Exwick Community Church.  

“That was the beginning of the turning point for me,” says Blessing. “Chris’s wife, Debbie, saw me with my two young boys and from that moment on until today, Debbie and Chris have been there for me, supporting and helping me.   

“Debbie became my first friend in Exeter. She was the first person I invited to my house. Honestly, before I met Debbie I was so alone.”  

Together, Debbie and Blessing decided to start a Parent and Baby group at Exwick Community Church to help other isolated parents connect in the community. From cooking sessions to parenting groups, Blessing began to love her new community.    

It was also through her friendship with Debbie, that Blessing finally found the confidence to share about the domestic violence she was experiencing in her marriage.   

Blessing was living in the UK on a spousal visa. She knew that if her marriage ended, it would be impossible to live independently until she received her Indefinite Leave to Remain, allowing her to work in the UK. Instead, she waited silently for years.    

“I had endured beatings and abuse throughout my pregnancies,” explains Blessing, “But it got so unbearable and I was struggling with suicidal thoughts. Finally I found the courage to open up to Debbie.  

“It was miracle number one when the pastor told me his house was open to me and my boys for as long as I needed.”   

Now with a safe place to stay, Blessing was finally able to leave her abusive husband.   

“I was supported by the police and by a domestic violence charity. They were amazing. But without the church, I wouldn’t have known that any of this support existed.”  

As soon as she left the family home, Blessing’s ex-husband cancelled her visa. Within days the Home Office were in contact, telling Blessing that she had to leave the UK unless she could provide a good reason.  

“That was a scary time,” says Blessing. “But God had brought incredible people into my life to support me. Getting legal advice and putting together my application to explain the domestic violence was a community effort.”   

The charity, Devon Refugee Support, also played a big role, helping Blessing and Debbie to navigate the visa system.  

Blessing was told her application for Indefinite Leave to Remain could take up to six months, but miraculously it only took five weeks.   

“During that time I wasn’t entitled to benefits or allowed to work,” says Blessing. “But everyone rallied around to support me, giving me supermarket vouchers and food bank vouchers. Without that support we would have starved.”   

Today, Blessing looks back on the miracles that happened in her life and gives thanks for the incredible power of the church community.   

“Without the church, I probably wouldn’t be alive today,” says Blessing. “It was only through speaking with Debbie and my pastor that I realised I wasn’t alone and had the courage to leave my husband.   

“Being in this church has shown me true Christianity in practice.”   

As the four-year partnership with YMCA Exeter comes to an end and Exwick Community Church looks to grow the opportunities, we are so thankful that the lives of people like Blessing and her boys have been transformed through the power of God’s community at work.