Meet Abby*, YMCA Exeter’s first university graduate!

“When I got my degree I just started crying. I didn’t believe it was possible.”
 
We are delighted to celebrate Abby’s* incredible achievement. She has overcome so much to get to where she is today. Here’s her story…
 
“Growing up in India, it was normal to be disciplined by your parents. My mother would regularly hit me, often with brooms. I just thought it was normal because I was little.
 
But then she started to refuse to make food for me. And once I was locked out of the house in the dark. It was really scary as there are dangerous wild animals.
 
At 16, we moved to the UK and I started going to college. I hoped my relationship with my parents would improve, but it just got worse. I always pretended everything was fine because I thought no one would take my side.
 
In our house, I had no bed, no curtains, no desk. My parents wouldn’t cook for me so I had to buy my own food. And I would lock myself in my room because they would hurl abuse at me and say I should just die.
 
When I came home from college I would sit on the floor hunched over my laptop with bread and squash, trying to study.
 
It was my tutor at college who noticed I was quiet and withdrawn. As we talked I decided I had to leave my house. My tutor and my two best friends supported me as I moved into YMCA Exeter.

My beautiful new room

I felt the biggest sense of relief when I arrived at YMCA Exeter Stage 1 housing. I was finally safe. My room was so beautiful. I had a bed, curtains, and a desk and it was all newly decorated. I could even cook for myself.
 
In my parent’s house, there was always shouting and screaming so I couldn’t sleep. But now I could finally sleep peacefully and safely. And I made two friends there who are still my best friends today.
 
The support workers at Stage 1 were amazing. They helped me with benefits until I could finish college because I knew nothing about accessing support. I joined the YMCA Exeter choir and took part in the art and all the mental health support.
 
After living for a while at Stage 1, I was offered the chance to move into Stage 3 housing. Since then I’ve lived in the same lovely house with one other girl.
 
My University years

My parents said I wouldn’t be able to do anything without them and at 19 I almost believed them. But I was determined to reach my dream of becoming a biomedical scientist.
 
It wasn’t easy getting myself through university. There were times when I wanted to give up. Times when I didn’t think I could manage everything. But somehow I made it through. 
 
I worked part-time.
I saved up.
I got a bursary.
I got counselling and journaled.
And I learnt to celebrate the small things.
 
When I got my degree I just started crying. I couldn’t believe I’d done it. At the age of 19, I hadn’t dared to believe it was possible. Looking back I don’t know where I’d be without YMCA Exeter.

The next step
 
To become a biomedical scientist, I need to do a master’s. I managed to get a place at Plymouth
University starting September 2024, but when I received the timetable for the course I realised I couldn’t work enough hours to pay for it.
 
So I’ve decided to defer my entry and spend this year getting lab experience and saving up for my masters. I’m focusing on the fact that this will be good for my career as every employer wants people with experience.”
 
We are so proud of you Abby and all that you’ve achieved.

*name changed